Today we’re chatting with Megan Belcher Allen, founder of GetBrave counseling, a powerful tool to help heal and express. “Begin Living Whole Heartedly” is their mantra, and they seek to help you learn how to let go of pain and unmask and embrace vulnerability.
Catori
Tell us a little about yourself! How did you discover therapy, and what inspired you to pursue it?
Megan
Funny enough, I was dragged to therapy as a teenager and HATED IT. Luckily, my therapy journey did not stop there. Let’s start from the beginning: My mom has bipolar. Growing up this was unmedicated and untreated which created a lot of instability, dysfunction, neglect and emotional abuse in my childhood. Years later, my mom was able to become healthy and stable through therapy, AA, spirituality and medication. Having a front row seat to my mom’s transformation inspired me to become a therapist. Along the way, I was able to find my own acceptance and healing in therapy, through education and with amazing friends. As a therapist, the fact that I get to witness the resiliency of the human spirit only grows my love of therapy. I also love cookies, laughter and yoga. If you don’t know already- Therapy is cool.
Catori
Can you share a success story where therapy had a profound impact on an individual or group, highlighting the therapeutic benefits of your approach?
Megan
With her permission, I will share a story of one of my clients. A few months ago this young woman got her thumb ripped off in a work related accident. Completely ripped off, they could not save it. If you can imagine, the whole event was traumatic for my client. When we first started meeting she could not even talk about the event. The whole thing made her believe she was a burden and unlovable now. Using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) and IFS (Internal Family Systems) she slowly was able to start tolerating looking at the parts of the event. We slowly increased how much she could talk about it, think about it and imagine it. This is important in the process of healing because it helps us to build resiliency and make traumatic events just a page in our life story instead of the main chapter. There was a part of her, actually multiple parts, that were scared to “go there” with the memory of the event. We validated and comforted these parts, which led to calming her whole system as she did the work. Each session she could tolerate more and gained new insights about herself and the people in her life. She got to a place where she could accept and acknowledge everything that happened when she lost her thumb. A few weeks ago, with total sincerity, she told me “I’m fine with losing my thumb,” while she was wearing her badass prosthetic. Throughout our time together, she went from believing, “I am burden” to “I am cared for.” I told you therapy is cool!
Catori
Common things that Megan works on include Trauma, Depression, Perfectionism, Anxiety , Self-harm, Vulnerability and building connections. These things can be worked on through: Individual Therapy, Couples Therapy, Family Therapy, (EMDR) & Embracing Me Retreats. If a woman feels overwhelmed when even looking at her therapy choices, how would you suggest that she start?
Megan
Start with referrals from people you trust. If that’s a dead end, Psychologytoday.com is a great place to find a therapist in your area. The main thing is to find someone who resonates with you. How well you click with a therapist is one of the strongest predictors of therapeutic success. It’s kind of like dating, you might have to go through a few to find your best fit.
Catori
On your website, you emphasize the importance of owning our stories and loving ourselves through the process, stating that it’s the bravest thing we’ll ever do. Why is this theme of owning and being brave so pivotal in someone’s healing journey, and how does it resonate with you personally?
Megan
I am lucky enough to have become trained in Brené Brown’s work and am a Daring Way Facilitator. I know A LOT about shame. Shame tells us to hide and that we aren’t good enough or are unworthy of connection due to what happened to us or what we have or don’t have. When we own our story, it takes the power away from shame, and puts it into our hands.
Here is a user-friendly example: I have dyslexia. I was not able to label this until adulthood. I truly believed as a child I was stupid and not good enough. I would do everything I could to hide this part of me. I would find ways to leave the classroom if we were taking turns reading aloud. I would count how many people were in front of me until it was my turn to read and then practice reading my passage before it got to me. In college, I would spend hours rewriting things, having friends read over my work for me to find the spelling mistakes I would inevitably make. I was terrified people would find out that I’m stupid, thus no good and undeserving of my degree.
At my first “real” job as a therapist, it became unsustainable to keep hiding my dyslexia the way I had. I had so much anxiety and shame around people finding out I couldn’t read and spell well. I truly believed if my clients and colleagues “found out” they wouldn’t want me as their therapist or on their team anymore. If years of school, degrees, and certificates couldn’t “fix” this part of me then I was worthless.
As I learned the steps of shame resiliency, I finally saw a choice- keep hiding or own it. I took a vulnerable step and started owning it. I was straightforward with people that spelling was a weak point for me, that I had low reading comprehension. That I won’t be reading that book, but I’ll look to see if it’s on audible. If you want to communicate with me, we will need to set up a phone call, no long emails here. As I owned my story, what I surprisingly found was (1) my dyslexia did not change the way people viewed me and (2) people actually connected with me on a deeper level than ever before!
Once I took the shame out of having dyslexia, I was able to see the benefits it gave me: creativity, humor, trusting close friends and compassion. And you can bet your bottom dollar that I had my friend Steph read over all of this!
Catori
You offer an “Embracing Me: Transformative Women’s Retreat.” Can you share more about the workshop’s structure and objectives? How does this program contribute to individuals’ healing and growth?
Megan
The Embracing Me Intensive Workshops are transformative healing events! I specifically designed them to create emotional release and deep connection with yourself, as well as others attending the events. The facilitators, co-founder Kylee Dart and I, have found this work to be sacred. We have incorporated multiple avenues for releasing and self-discovery including inner-child work, trauma focused yoga, equine therapy, and breathwork.
A key component is creating a safe and compassionate environment. The women who come want to be there, they pay to participate. They are invested in their healing and holding space for other women.
The first day my co-facilitator Kayla Bonzo and I teach self compassion and shame resiliency through experiential learning. This work is hands-on. We offer breaks for journaling throughout the day accompanied by sound bath healing. Courage is contagious, once one of the women opens up, it leads to others wanting to tell their stories. Here is where I am good at my job, and love group work. I know how to lead participants to feel their stories through a lens of compassion and acceptance. Kayla is amazing at empowering participants to move into the future with confidence and self trust. We are kind of a therapeutic dream team. We end day one at a beautiful ranch with Equine Horse Therapy led by Aubree Sullivan and Angie Smith. Aubree and Angie have taught me horses have the ability to see our souls and mirror our shadow parts, which helps us bring the unconscious to the conscious.
Okay if day one didn’t sound amazing enough here comes day two. We start with yoga outside at the Sugarloafs. This is led by Kelbie Sorensen with a theme of being empowered to identify what you can and need to let go. After lunch we step into some deep inner child work with emphasis on giving your younger self what she might have needed during times of distress or confusion. Once the bases are loaded we move to Somatic Breathwork, led by Kylee Dart. So much releasing occurs here. At this point everyone is emotionally exhausted, in a good way. After dinner catered by Zaos we lighten the mood with a paint night led by Katelin Jensen and bask in everyone’s authenticity.
We have also had guest speakers come and share their stories. Most notable, the fabulous Brittany Fisher Frank. If you want more info check out my website www.getbrave.co
Catori
How does your team at Get Brave Co. contribute to creating a supportive and transformative environment for clients?
Megan
It is imperative that we build a genuine, caring relationship with clients and the women who come to our Embracing Me events. The Embracing Me Transformative events are designed to create a safe and trusting environment, which gives participants permission to step into vulnerability, and all of the facilitators understand this and are skilled at it.
In my private practice, I genuinely care about all my clients. I like all of them. If I feel irritated/frustrated towards a client, I explore what’s coming up for me, I consult with other therapists if needed and get back to a place of compassion, curiosity and care. This doesn’t mean I don’t call my clients out or let their dysfunction run the show, that would actually be against their therapeutic goals; but I care deeply about the people who are brave enough to see me, and I honor and respect all it takes to walk in my door and do the work needed.
Catori
What does it mean when you say that you are a clients’ guide? Why is going at someone’s own pace so important?
Megan
Our emotional internal system is designed to protect us. Individuals who have suffered childhood trauma, PTSD, CPTSD, sexual trauma and abuse of all kinds and levels have been in survival mode for a large portion of their lives. This creates strong protectors within their emotional system such as perfectionism, shame, self-invalidation, anger, substance use, minimizing, etc. These parts are fantastic at their jobs- helping us survive hard moments. . However, when you move from surviving to wanting to thrive you have to work with these protectors. You have to get their permission to go there, you have to help update them that life is different now. If you push harder then protectors are ready, they will do their jobs and shut the system down, numb out, disassociate, etc. It’s a delicate dance of building trust, moving forward, stepping back, and compassionately holding space.
Thanks for taking the time to get to know me! Let’s grab a swig and go to a yoga class, even though I’m not that great at it.
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